For many professionals of color, the workplace demands a double life. There is the voice you use with family and close friends, full of cultural rhythm and familiar ease. Then there is the voice you switch to at the office. It is often more measured, more formal, and carefully stripped of any regional or cultural inflection that might mark you as “other.” This practice is called code switching. It is the act of changing your speech, behavior, and appearance to fit into a dominant culture’s norms. For a long time, being told you are “articulate” in these spaces feels like a high compliment. But what is the true cost of this performance? And how do you find the courage to return to your authentic voice? In her memoir DISTINCTION, author MaryJo (Jacqui) explores this very journey, detailing the exhaustion of the swap and the liberation of speaking in her own true tone.
The Compliment That Cuts: Being Called “Articulate”
In professional settings, many Black women have heard the phrase, “You are so articulate.” On the surface, it seems like praise. It acknowledges a command of language. Yet, this compliment often carries an unspoken surprise, as if clarity and intelligence were unexpected. As MaryJo (Jacqui) points out in DISTINCTION, people rarely describe white colleagues as “articulate.” It is simply assumed. For her, this “compliment” highlighted that she was being judged against a biased assumption. It signaled that her ability to speak “proper” English made her more acceptable, more digestible to her white peers and superiors. She had succeeded in modulating herself to meet their standard. This approval, however, came with a hidden tax. It reinforced the idea that her natural way of communicating was somehow deficient or unprofessional.
The Exhausting Work of the Swap
Code switching is not a simple change of vocabulary. It is a comprehensive performance. It involves monitoring your tone to avoid sounding “angry.” It means enunciating words in a specific way, perhaps avoiding the cultural pronunciation you grew up with. It can dictate your laughter, your gestures, and even your topics of conversation. The author shares how she consciously worked to divorce her “cultural enunciation” to speak in a way that would not readily identify her as a Black woman. She rehearsed saying “ask” instead of “ax,” a correction born from childhood teasing. This constant self-monitoring is a form of high-stakes mental labor. It splits your attention. Part of your mind focuses on the work itself, while another part acts as a relentless editor of your every word and expression. This is a draining, invisible workload that many carry alone.
The Personal Cost of a Professional Mask
Over time, this performance can create a painful disconnect. You may feel like an imposter in your own life. The person who wins praise at work can feel alien to the person you are at home. This divide can erode your sense of self. You might start to question which version of you is real. Furthermore, the energy spent maintaining this professional facade is energy stolen from your creativity, your relationships, and your well-being. It can lead to burnout, resentment, and a deep sense of loneliness. In DISTINCTION, the author conveys the heavy weight of this mask. She describes the calculated effort to present a version of herself that would be “acceptable,” all while feeling that her true identity was being silenced and shelved for later, a later that often never comes.
The Turning Point: When the Cost Becomes Too Great
The journey back to authenticity often begins with a breaking point. It is the moment when the cost of switching outweighs the perceived reward. This could be a blatant act of racism or bias that occurs despite your perfect performance. It could be the realization that you are being tokenized. Or, it could simply be the profound fatigue of performing day after day, year after year. For the author, part of this awakening came from spiritual guidance and a growing understanding of her own “distinction.” She began to see that her value was not in how well she could mimic, but in the unique perspective she carried. The very cultural richness she was hiding was the source of her insight and strength. This realization, detailed in her book, marks a critical shift from seeking acceptance to claiming authority.
Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice
Unlearning code switching is a process. It is about giving yourself permission to speak and exist in your fullness. It might start in small ways, like allowing a cultural phrase to enter a work conversation or speaking with the natural rhythm of your thoughts. It involves building a community, both in and out of work, where your authentic voice is not just accepted but celebrated. Most importantly, it requires a fundamental change in how you measure your own worth. Your professional value is not determined by your proximity to whiteness. It is rooted in your skills, your intellect, and the unique lived experience you bring to the table. Your authentic voice is not a professional liability; it is your competitive distinction.
MaryJo (Jacqui)’s narrative in DISTINCTION is a powerful roadmap for this reclamation. She moves from taking pride in being called “articulate” to resenting the box that label put her in. Her story shows that the path to authentic power is not about changing your voice to open doors, but about using your real voice to build your own table. It is a testament to the courage it takes to silence the internal editor and let your true sound be heard.
To follow the powerful journey of unlearning performance and reclaiming authentic power, read DISTINCTION by MaryJo (Jacqui). This memoir offers a vital examination of the masks we wear and the freedom found in taking them off.